Monday, January 26, 2009

Friends and musings on thirty.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by how much my life has changed in the last few years. Six years ago, I was constantly anxious. I was in a relationship I felt I couldn't escape. I didn't have any friends. Oh, how things have changed.

In which we party a bit too hard for a Sunday afternoon.
Nikki and Jesse
Nikki and Jesse in their livingroom. They hosted the best brunch ever yesterday.

Sharon being a dork. I'll miss living with her and Jordan when they move out.

Lou bundled
Lou all bundled on the fire escape.

A closeup of Jesse, for which she might kill me. Unless she likes it. (I do.)

It's taken me a while to fully admit this, but I sort of freaked out about turning 30. I'm not sure why; it's just a number, after all. I still get carded regularly, and no one ever believes me when I disclose my age. So what is it that's so scary about 30? I don't really know, but I think I'm over it now. It just took a little while. (Or maybe it's cyclical, and I'll re-freak again in a few weeks. Yeah, that's more my style. Calm and collected? Not so much.)

With age comes relative calm, at least for me. In my early twenties, I was insane. I mean that in a fairly literal way; I partied all the time and never took anything seriously. I did things that I look back on in disbelief and even shame. Sometimes I can't believe that was really me. I hurt people without thinking twice about it and never claimed responsibility for my actions. There were some serious issues I was dealing with (or, more accurately, not dealing with) at the time--not that this relieves me of responsibility, but I was a hot mess and I couldn't handle myself. I'm glad I'm past most of that now.

I'm pretty happy with where things are taking me right now. I'm finally finishing those last few classes of undergrad and looking forward to what a B.A. might hold for me. I have a good job, awesome friends, a beautiful house, and I'm in love with the best person I've ever met.

I'm feeling positive about life. This is good.

1 comment:

  1. Happy (belated) birthday! 30 was a great year for me- I hope your year is wonderful too. :)